What Happens When Men Are Raised by Single Moms Who Don't Discipline Them?

Let me tell you a story about my friend (really distant relative) named Johnny.*

Johnny's father was a deadbeat felon who was never around growing up. His mom never disciplined him and let him do whatever he wanted growing up. When Johnny was a teenager, he stole his mom's minivan, crashed it into a convenience store, chained it up to an ATM and dragged the ATM out of the store and down the street. He dropped out of school and would drive around in his mom's minivan with his friends smashing mailboxes with a baseball bat. I remember him living in a shack behind his mother's house while a teenager.

When Johnny got a little bit older, he impregnated several black women out-of-wedlock. He never visits his kids since the new boyfriends of his baby mamas don't allow Johnny to visit. He started drinking, as was known for getting into fights while drunk and then completely blacking out. Indeed, he once crashed his friend's wedding while drunk, punched the groom, shouted racist words, blacked out and then wound up in jail with no memory of what he had done.

Johnny is a loser. In fact, Johnny is the loser to end all losers. Johnny is what happens when men grow up without a father and with a mother that doesn't discipline them. They grow up to be undisciplined, unfocused, lazy, irresponsible and weak. The situation becomes even worse if the young men are being raised in poverty.

There are generally three outcomes of single mothers raising men without discipling them:

1. They grow up to be felons/criminals/losers or deadbeats.

2. They become sissies/mamas boys.

3. They become relatively well-adjusted, functional adults. (This is rare but it does happen).    

To prevent their sons from becoming like Johnny, single moms MUST discipline them. They can't be weak and soft on them as most women are. They have to law-down-the-law and force them into becoming responsible, hard-working, productive people. Additionally, single moms MUST surround their sons with positive male role models, such as coaches, male teachers and tutors, pastors, etc. If you don't, then your son will probably end up like Johnny.  

* Name has been changed.