If you're a young woman living in Western society today, you're no doubt familiar with the 20-something manchild/deadbeat that can't seem to pull himself together. He might be unemployed or frequently fired, he may have student loans he hasn't been paying, or might be still living at home and spending a good deal of time playing video games or looking up porn. He may even collect welfare or a government check with little desire to look for a job. Despite the fact that he may come across as funny, playful, or carefree, he can't seem to get his act together and focus on building a life or career for himself.
There are several reasons why he's like this, and I'll explain them for you so that his behavior is a little less puzzling.
Reasons your boyfriend (and guys your age) tend to be deadbeat losers:
1. The economy is still quite bad. There are over ten million unemployed people yet only four million job openings. Economic growth is much lower than it was a generation ago, and high corporate taxes make the US an unfavorable place for business investment. Many of the industries hardest hit by the Great Recession were male-dominated fields like construction.
2. Large numbers of young men were raised by single mothers who never disciplined them. Men raised by single mothers usually have serious discipline issues or grow up to become feminine, weak and timid. They didn't have a father figure to teach them how to become responsible, disciplined, masculine men. They likely attended public schools dominated by women and were coddled by their mother. The result? A feminized wimp with discipline and conduct issues.
3. They're addicted to porn and video games. Men are highly visual creatures and have a strong competitive urge. They have a strong desire to prove themselves, to compete, to become the best, to dominate, and, at times, to kill things. Porn and video games allow your boyfriend and loser guy friends to outlet their aggressive male energy in relatively harmless ways.
4. Sex is easy to obtain. Men today have less reason to get married and can obtain sex much easier than men in previous generations could. Men in previous generations had to get married to have sex, and in order to become suitable partners for marriage, they had to be financially stable and able to support a family. With sex easy to obtain and marriage no longer necessary to have it, as well as the fact that women no longer need men to support them, men simply have less reason to become financially stable or to get married.
5. Government benefits are easy to obtain. The chances are good that many young men are able to collect government benefits such as disability, EBT, etc. which reduces their incentive to work. Why work a low-wage job when you can just collect a check and play video games all day? Why pay 40% of your income in taxes and put up with bullshit and lippy attitude from your employer and coworkers when you can go on the dole?
6. Marriage has become a bad deal for men. As much as 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Men, quite simply, are scared of marriage. They're scared of the commitment, they're scared of a woman stealing his money and spending it on foolishness, and they're scared that she'll take his kids. Men are frightened by the possibility of having to pay alimony or losing their freedom and becoming subservient to a wife that tells him what to do.
7. They were spoiled as children and never had to work hard for anything. Their parents paid for their college, paid for their car, never made them work for a living, bought them whatever they wanted, etc. This tends to destroy work ethic and has likely contributed to your boyfriend's laziness. It also ruins the incentive to become independent - why bother to leave home if your parents are willing to pay your bills?
I don't see any of these trends reversing anytime soon, so the loser/deadbeat 20-something manchild will be with us for the foreseeable future. You can either accept them and love them for who they are, try to change them, or go after the dwindling number of decent men.
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